In acelasi timp, alti parinti considera ca cei mici trebuie sa aiba mai multa libertate de alegere si incurajeaza independenta si autonomia de la cele mai fragede varste. Poate ca si tu te-ai intrebat, nu o singura data, cum este mai bine: sa-l inveti pe copil in mod direct lucrurile pe care le consideri importante si sa-i spui ce sa faca, pana ajunge la o maturitate care sa-i permita sa faca alegerile bune, sau sa-i oferi libertatea de a-si dezvolta autonomia si abilitatea de a face alegeri, cu riscul de a te confrunta cu decizii proaste din punctul tau de vedere?
6 lucruri pe care le fac parintii cu copii independenti
Pedagogia Waldorf te ajuta sa cresti un copil liber si fericit. 33 de idei de activitati pentru acasa
Nevoia de a-i spune mereu copilului ce sa faca si de a-i impune propriile solutii vine din nevoia de control pe care o au unele persoane. Aceasta nevoie de control nu apare doar in relatia cu copilul, ci si in alte domenii ale vietii. In schimb, persoanele care se adapteaza mai usor si accepta mai usor diferentele de comportamente ale celor din jur sunt parinti care accepta intr-o masura mai mare solutiile copiilor.
Ce arata studiile
Totusi, specialistii sustin ca cei mici au sansa sa se dezvolte personalitatea, sa infloreasca atunci cand au spatiul de care au nevoie pentru a-si afirma personalitatea, pentru a fi ei insisi. Copiii sunt mai fericiti atunci cand isi fac planuri sau cand cel putin stiu ca ceea ce spun conteaza. Acesti copii sunt mai motivati sa respecte regulile decat cei carora li s-a impus anumite solutii.
Cercetatorii de la Universitatea din California, SUA, dar si de la alte institutii de cercetare, au ajuns la concluzia ca la copiii care isi planifica singuri programul, care isi stabilesc anumite sarcini pentru o saptamana si care isi evalueaza rezultatele muncii lor se dezvolta mai rapid cortexul prefrontal si alte parti ale creierului care ajuta la un control cognitiv mai eficient asupra vietii lor. Sunt niste abilitati de planificare si control care ii ajuta pe copii sa se autodisciplineze, sa evite factorii care i-ar putea distrage de la ce au de facut si sa evalueze argumentele pro si contra.
“Un parinte adevarat trebuie sa fie autoritar, sa stabileasca limite”. Iata, insa, ADEVARATA reactie a copilului in fata controlului parintelui
Provocarea de a creste o fata puternica si independenta
Atunci cand isi aleg singuri ce vor face si cum se vor recompensa la finalul unui proiect, copiii sunt mai motivati sa obtina acel rezultat. De exemplu, s-a observat ca acelor copii care si-au ales singuri materiile facultative le place mai mult sa mearga la scoala comparativ cu colegii lor carora le-au fost impuse acele ore.
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